Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Not really a crisis

So here's the deal. I love reading people's blogs. I have loved writing this blog. This blog started as a way to keep track of our unschooling days. The thing is, Evie is almost 11 now and kind of has her own life. I am thrilled for her and not so crazy about it for myself. I miss being the one to think up things to do, spark her imagination with books or play, have small ideas that turn into big fun. Don't get me wrong, we are still peas in a pod, have tons of fun together and I think she is about the best daughter ever. We are in a state of transition--she is definitely not ready to move out or anything, but my role as "Mama" is changing. I find myself reading more blogs of folks with little ones because I kind of miss those days. I am not really all that interesting and trying to figure out who to be when I am definitely not done being the ever-present Mama, but I am not an empty-nester either, is challenging. I don't really feel like writing about my life, OUR life is a challenge to document. I think it would be a shame to shut down the blog but I sure need a dose of purpose to keep going.

Anybody have a story to share on this one?


brianna said...

As a mom of younger kids, reading your blog has been a joy. It's really great and I think, really important for unschoolers with younger kids to see that transition you're talking about. To see how it is that what we do with our kids eventually turns into self-motivated, self-sufficient older kids. I adore reading about all the amazing things Evie does and seeing how you and your husband facilitate that. I've been inspired, impressed and comforted by your blog and if you choose not to continue it, please know that your time sharing your life has certainly had an impact. <3

I hope you're able to find your place and figure things out. Maybe one thing you could do here is share your favorite resources you liked using when she was younger? Or write stories from that time that you never had a chance to?

Stephanie said...

Just a hug, is all I have. oof.

Hopefully others will share, I'd love to hear more about this.

Jen said...

Could it become a blog about documentary films or some other interests of your own? Maybe that doesn't compel you to write. Maybe you could figure out what else sparks your fire enough for you to share.

Jessica said...

Hi, I have been following your blog for a while now.I am mum to 3 girls the eldest of whom is 11.I also follow a lot of blogs of people with unschooling (and sometimes homeschooling) younger children.It has not been easy to find someone with older (teen/tween) children who are still unschooled.When I do find a blog with older children I cherish it.Reading about how others are going, what there life is like is helpful, esp when the only other unschoolers we have contact with are online, though we have lots of homeschooling friends face to face.
It makes going into the unknown a little bit easier knowing others are there too:)
You will find where you need to be, it might take a while but you will.I am not looking forward to the day my youngest is "grown up" but then I cant wait to see who she will chose to be either.Its hard, being a mum is hard, but its also the most rewarding job on earth with the most amount of satisfaction to offer.

Tracy said...

I can so relate. My kids are 10, 12 and 14 now.

This deserves a much greater response than I have the energy to think about right now. I would encourage you to sit on the thought for a while. Don't do anything so drastic as shutting it down. But don't pressure yourself either. Surely this in-between place is worthy of documentation, too?

denise said...

Well, my kids are younger too. But I think transitions in life are always a big uncomfortable. As they say with kids who go from school to homeschooling, they need a period of 'de-schooling' to flush out the old and be mentally and emotionally ready for the next. I think that about most transitions. We just need some quiet introspection and down time to really align what we want to do and where we want to focus our energies.

I also think kids go in waves. While she may have a lot more independence, which is of course a wonderful thing, she will be exploring her world and coming back into the fold. Stretching, returning. You will be needed for a very long time to come. ;)

You always seem to have so much going on, so many irons in the fire. Perhaps having some time to re-center is a good thing before you dive into the next. Time for you to pursue some more of your passions. And we'd all love to have you share them with us. Blogging isn't only about what you do today, but about where we are right now on our journey. And that encompasses so many aspects of what we all do! And I think many people must be where you are now, with the transition time, kids growing up...and we share to learn and also inspire. I'm sure we'd all love to hear more.

I am rambling. But if you need some younger kid time I have two boys who are still in the need and request attention 24/7. ;P

ItMakesYouSmile said...

I am all of those things the "women's lib movement" said we shouldn't define ourselves as - I am very domestic (and yet oddly mechanically inclined); I live to cook, sew, tend, create and nurture. Being a wife and mom at home has been fairy tale perfect for so many years.

Now, with Jr at 20, those years are well behind me. I can say for sure, though, that it does NOT get easier once they are more self-sufficient. It only means that they are more at the mercy of the world, and you are less in control (well, never was, really) and less able to make anything OK. It's really a period of limbo, of being available, but not useful, in many ways. I feel the tug toward moving into my own life more, developing my interests and testing out my "independence" once again. Also, naturally, thinking a lot about contributing to the family's needs in another way (read: $$).

And yet, this being "on call" takes a tremendous amount of mental energy, thus making it difficult to really delve into anything with the kind of energy that I am feeling these days - which is a lot!

I'm needed, but not always wanted, and as a very empathetic person, that's a hard place to be. I also know that I have to do a little bit of pushing here and there to encourage his independence as well. For it is only as a fully formed and integrated, centered and independent person that he will eventually be able to relish and enjoy the relationship with his parents that lies somewhere, over on the other side of this abyss I can't quite see across now.

Hold tight, it's a wild and wooly ride, but ultimately part of what makes it all worth it.