Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Making Our Way

I really want to be more interesting. "What?" you say. "Aren't you the ones who have the chickens/bread oven/stilt walking etc." Yup--but you will notice, those things all have to do withe OTHER members of my family. What is my hobby? Hanging laundry? Oh please! I wish I was an obsessed knitter or a writer or a body-builder (okay not that one, but they are very dedicated). My passion is being a mom. That is good. Also (I try never to say "such and such BUT" because it negates whatever I said first) Evie is entering a new phase of being that has me a bit stymied. The Universe no longer radiates exclusively from her body. Now she begins the process of coming to know the world through feelings and by so doing comes to realize her interrelatedness with all life. This is heady stuff!

I am less a "director" now and more of a partner/guide. I wish I were more interesting so that she could be drawn into a different world that is not artificially created. I am not going to take up stained glass window making because it would be good for Evie!

Fairness, justice, adventure, compassion--these are the new buzzwords for Evie's "being-ness." I feel like I need to "get a life" so she can have one too.

Complicated!

2 comments:

Eluciq said...

oh jen...you are one amazing woman that i totally look up to...your knowledge, passion and willingness to try just about anything are all good...scratch that...GREAT qualities...your drive to make a difference in this world we live on is something to be proud of...i truly believe you have so much you are offering Evie...and she is who she is because of your ability to guide, lead and partner with her and her journey to learn!

Don't be so hard on yourself...I wish my boys' could be with you and suck some of that enthusiasm and passion for learning out of you!!!!

Sandra Dodd said...

Instead of knitting or stained glass, maybe consider movie commentary (watch DVDs with her and follow cowtrails from topic to director to setting to actor to period, maybe. Research words or technology or make-up or psychology, perhaps. You could explore without leaving home, and share the good parts with her, I think.